What makes you feel like a bad mum?
For a lot of us, it’s losing our cool. Snapping at our kids, shouting, being moody and nagging.
When we shout at our kids, we aren’t modelling how to manage feelings of anger and frustration. We can also make everyone feel bad and, if it happens a lot, can break feelings of trust in our relationships.
Losing your cool? Remember this wisdom.
I bet your brain is in overdrive. When you remember the times you’ve shouted, feelings of guilt overwhelm your body. So, show yourself some kindness and focus on this post for 5 minutes.
We are humans, and we are inherently flawed. We will always act in ways that we wish we hadn’t.
We will let our emotions “get the better of us”, and let down and disappoint others. It’s part of being human.
I clearly remember one time several years ago when I shouted (yes, shouted!) at my daughter, “STOP SHOUTING AT ME!” Of course, I’m not proud of this but, I’m human and these things happen.
I am an adult, with a frontal cortex which is about as developed as it’s going to get and allows me at least some emotional regulation skills. I have over 25 years of experience in studying, practising and teaching good emotional and mental health training but, at that moment, I couldn’t manage my emotions enough not to shout. Yet I expected my 4-year-old to be able to…
Why it can be good to lose your cool
I immediately saw the irony and apologised to her. And this is what I taught her at that moment:
- Sometimes we mess up
- When we mess up, we can acknowledge it and the relationship doesn’t need to suffer.
These are valuable skills that will help your children grow into emotionally capable and mature, balanced, resilient adults who will soar in life with these skills.
So expect to mess up from time to time. You’re only human too. And use these times to grow, learn and model to your children how to take responsibility for your actions.
Ready for emotional regulation support?
Join our empowering 12-week programme for busy mums, who lose their cool more than they’d like, feel anxious, stressed or overwhelmed and who want to regulate their own emotions better so they can support their children to do the same.
You’ll learn CBT therapy and Compassion-focused therapy tools, receive daily support and be a part of a community of other women on the same journey.
If you’re interested in joining the next cohort of our Emotional Regulation programme you can either send us a message at hello@consciousandcalm.com, check out the Emotional Regulation page for more information or book a call with me to have a chat about how this programme could benefit you.